I answer your questions about Judaism and living as a Orthodox Jew!

Well first of all thank you to everyone who sent questions! You all are awesome and I am happy to answer these great questions. Second these answers are my answers they are not anybody else's and do not represent every Jew. Last, names and places have been changed to protect the curious;)

Ingrid from Irvine asked: "Why do you dress so conservatively and cover your hair when modesty standards and dress codes have changed since Bible Times?"

Answer:
Great question and one I think a lot of people wonder but don't ask. Dressing in not only a feminine way but a modest way is important for me because what you wear says a lot about you and what you value. I value myself and I would't feel right or comfortable showing a lot skin. I feel like showing a lot of skin can be distracting. I find people make eye contact with me and look me in the face which is great of course. I also consider myself to be a daughter of the King (G-d) and if you look at what royal women wear they always dress modestly and in a feminine way. As for covering my hair after I married. It leaves something that is only for my husband and that is special. As far as "Bible Times" obviously a lot has changed in the last few thousand years. This can make living by "Biblical" values and rules today very challenging. Knowing how to apply the values and laws from then in our modern lives can be overwhelming so thankfully we have very wise and knowledgeable Rabbis who help sort it all out and give us guidelines for things like how we dress. 


Sarah from Spokane asked: 
"The Pentateuch is very specific in regard to living practices. As a practicing Jew, are you to follow all of these rules? Or how do you decide which you don't have to anymore? What about sacrifices since you are still awaiting Messiah?"

Answer:

Two good questions! Yes the Pentateuch or as we call it the Torah which are the first five books of the Bible contain many rules regarding all aspects of life and even death. As an Orthodox Jew I believe in still living by the laws of the Torah. We do not pick a choose what we follow we do our best to follow all the laws that pertain to us. There are some that are only for men or only for women some that are for the Temple or regard things like salvery that no longer apply. I obviously follow laws regarding women and ones that are for everyone like dietary laws. We no longer have sacrifices since we no longer have a Temple. It is also important to note that we believe that the laws of Torah are for Jews and it's not necessary for non-Jews to follow them. I also respect and love every one of my fellow Jews and just because I have chosen to live as an observant Jew I and believe that living by Torah though tough is wonderful I respect those who chose not to.

Betty from Brooklyn asked:
"How do you reconcile liberal social views that are contrary to the law with what you believe?"

Answer:

First I'd like to say that I am not a Rabbi or a leaned scholar so I am not going to say who is and who isn't living in a way contrary to the law.

I am sure many of you have heard the phrase as for me and my house. This dictates our choices for our family. I am so thankful that I live in a free country where I can live with my family how we choose I want this for others too. Just because I don't or would't live a certain way does not for me mean others can't. Betty didn't specify for me which of my liberal social views she means so I am going two tackel two that I think people wonder about. Marrige equality and Abortion. Marriage equality I believe is a matter of what our United States law says and guarantees and my following Biblical law in my own life does not factor in at all to this. I am thankful I married the person I love and my heart breaks for those who can't. As far as safe abortions I think it's far more dangerous for abortion to be illegal. In countries where abortions are done by untrained people women die at an alarming rate. I also know there are horrible things that women endure and I would never judge someone else though I would not choose abortion personally. Although in Jewish law abortions are allowed when the mother's life is in danger.

Shannon from Shanghai asked:
"What was the hardest thing for you to give up? Do you feel like being Orthodox limits you professionally?"

Answer:

Another two for one:) There are many things I gave up that I do miss. I frankly don't believe people that say they miss nothing when they convert or become observant. I miss most spending time with my family on Christmas and Easter. These days are always hard for me and I think they always will be. It's okay though because I am happy with my choice and we have many other special times together like Thanksgiving and birthdays.

As for limiting me professionally the short answer yes it does. There have been times when I worked as a Nanny that I did not get hired because I could not work Friday nights or Saturday. However I always ended up working for wonderful families who respected me and my beliefs. I thankfully have never been without work. I believe whole heartedly that our families choice to keep Shabbat a holy day not like the other days of the week is a wonderful blessing for us on many levels including in ways we don't even see.


I so enjoyed answering these questions. If you have one just comment on this blog or contact me via Facebook. I am always happy to answer any question! 

Me with my favorite scarf on! 

Easy Skillet Chili

So what do you make for dinner when your kitchen is nearly clean for Passover and you don't want to make a huge mess or fuss over dinner? We made easy skillet chili tonight. I got this easy and yummy recipe from the wonderful Belles family of Houston, Texas. They opened their home to us one Shabbat last December and we had a wonderful time and this delicious chili. This is great for tonight because it's rainy and yuck out and because it needs so few ingredients and just one burner and skillet:) 

You will need:

1 to 1.5 lb. of ground beef

1 Tbs. olive oil
1 onion, chopped
Jar of salsa (we use walmart medium)
1 to 2 Tbsp of chili powder
1 can corn (optional)
Directions:

Chop onion and brown in skillet with a bit of oil
Add ground beef and brown. Add jar of salsa, can of corn and chili powder.
Reduce heat and simmer for 30 minutes stirring occasionally.

Enjoy!

My personal Chametz: Moving past fear and mistrust to build bridges of peace

This time of year in many Jewish houses there is a lot of cleaning happening. We are all doing our best to rid our homes of chametz as part of our preparation for Passover.  What is chametz? Well it's anything that may rise when added with water. We have been asked by 
G-d to not eat any chametz for a week to help us remember the events that surrounded our exodus from Egypt. Just as we clean our homes of chametz we also try to clean our lives of personal spiritual chametz too. Anything that might rise up and separate us from G-d or from each other. As hard as it is to give our homes a thorough cleaning (especially when cleaning is already not your thing and you have a 3 year old;) getting rid of spiritual chametz can be just as challenging if not harder. 

“The test of faith is whether I can make space for difference. Can I recognize God's image in someone who is not in my image, who language, faith, ideal, are different from mine? If I cannot, then I have made God in my image instead of allowing him to remake me in his.” 
~ Rabbi Jonathan Sacks

I have to admit there was a time in my life when I would have seen someone Muslim and even some Christians and thought we couldn't be close friends. I even had some fear and mistrust when it came to people of other faiths. I never hated anyone for being Christian or Muslim that sort of thing is not in my nature. I also always felt strongly that all religious choices should be welcomed and protected after all this is America. But how could I ever be close friends with someone who has a different faith then mine? You have to have things in common. Right? This was my personal spiritual chametz rising up and separating me from others who I thought were not like me.

Last week I sat around a large table and participated in a Seder that included Christians, Muslims and Jews. All of the women around the table are dear friends of mine whom I learn so much from every time we get together. I have been involved in the Daughter's of Abraham for almost a year and it has changed me so much for the better. 

The first meeting I attended was nerve wracking. Which is silly because I had asked to join the group. On my way to the meeting I was talking to myself yes I am one of those people. Why am I doing this? I'm an Orthodox Jew and a Zionist this isn't going to work. Am I going to have to give up some part of me, some part of what I believe to be part of this group? I walked in and was hugged immediately by a smiling Turkish women in a hijab who welcomed me and said she was so glad I was there. I felt better immediately. I found out quickly that not only did I not have to give up any part of what I believed to be part of this group it made my faith stronger. Each meeting we talk about our faith and what we believe and how we live that out. We listen to one another with respect and love. Something amazing happens when we do this we discover so much about ourselves and each other. We also find out more often then not we have much more in common then we ever thought. I can now say that I can see 
G-d's image in each person in our group and that it has made me a better person. I have learned that focussing on peace for the whole world is difficult and overwhelming but building bridges and making peace in my little corner of this world is possible and I have to a least try to do what I can to make that happen. A couple weeks ago I along with 3 of my fellow "daughters" were interviewed for the Religion section of the Arkansas Democrat Gazette about our experiences with each other and our group. So keep an eye out for that in your Saturday paper to read more about our Daughter's of Abraham group and what it means to each of us.

Me and my sweet friend Burchin. She was the smiling one who hugged me at the first Daughters of Abraham meeting I attended!

I still have a lot of spiritual chametz to work through and I think I always will. This is part of why I think it's important to do this inner reflection every year to try to become just a little bit better of a person then I was last year. Wishing everyone a Happy and Peaceful Passover!

One of our Muslim "daughter's" reading a Haggadah

Letting it go: My struggle with depression

I don't want to blog today or make Challah with Abby or work on Shabbat dinner. I didn't even want to get out of bed this morning. The only thing that got me out of bed this morning was my love for my family and their love for me. I am waging a war not the kind of war we see on the news with guns and other weapons but one that consists of me fighting little battles each day like getting out of bed and playing with my daughter. 

My little girl like just about every kid in America is obsessed with the movie Frozen. We have listened to the song Let It Go about a million or so times.  Every time to strikes a cord with me. 

"Don’t let them in, don’t let them see

Be the good girl you always have to be

Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know

Well, now they know

Let it go, let it go

Can’t hold it back anymore

Let it go, let it go

Turn away and slam the door

I don’t care

What they’re going to say

Let the storm rage on,

The cold never bothered me anyway" ~ Let It Go Lyrics by Idina Menzel

I have been battling depression since I was 14 and I have always tried to hide it. Afraid of what people may think. Depression runs deep in my family something I have always known but found no comfort in. There is not always comfort in numbers. My Great Grandfather's suicide along with the suicide of all but one of my Grandmother's sisters is no secret in our family and something that haunts and frightens me. Until recently I had not sought out help for my depression afraid if I admitted it said it out loud that I struggle with a mental illness my world would fall apart. It hasn't and I am actually doing a lot better but there are days like today that I still struggle. It took a long time for me to understand that I more then likely have a chemical imbalance brain and it is not something I can control or snap myself out of. 

I am sharing this today because I am tired of hiding and someone out there may read this that is struggling like me and many many others and realize they are not alone. That it's okay to acknowledge their depression or any mental health struggle and ask for help. If your reading this and your struggling it's okay let it go.